Travis (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} orlith) wrote,@ 2009-01-20 12:40:00 |
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Letter to my aunt
Aunt ______,
Thank you for the message that you left on my cell phone voice mail the other day.
I haven’t responded because I haven’t quite been sure how to respond, and needed to put some thought into an appropriate and honest answer.
The question was am I still mad at you after our e-mail exchange about the forwarding of conservative political e-mails to me during the election, which I had asked you not to do. The short answer is that I’m not still particularly mad at you.
The longer answer, and the answer that I have been struggling to put into words, is that I am indeed angry. I have been angry, incredibly hurt and grief-stricken ever since the election and the passage of Proposition 8, which took away, however short-lived, the right for me to get married to a person of my choice legally (not religiously) in California. I’ve been angry at the millions of people who voted for the Proposition. I’ve been especially angry with the religious and civil “leaders” who have led their flocks on this issue with outright lies. I’ve been angry at the religious leaders who continually belittle people like me, compare us to criminals, pedophiles and other things even more horrible. I’ve been hurt by the hatred thinly veiled by “we love you” directed towards me and people like me. I’m continuously frightened by the increasing amount of people who think that it’s okay to abuse me and those like me with hateful words, fists, bats and guns. I’m increasingly angry at religious folk who continuously beat me over the metaphorical head with their own interpretations of sacred writings. I’m also in awe how the legal protection and recognition of a partnership between two mutually consenting adults can compare to the issues such as poverty, disease, homelessness, and violence which are rampant in our world, and which are willfully ignored by the self-professed righteous and pious. I’m angry at the people that I know personally, who I have had personal relationships with, who know me, and my story, who publicly and loudly voted to strip me of a fundamental equal right. Lastly, I wonder how many precious lives would have been saved from suicide and disease if gay relationships had been recognized and supported.
I’ve been struggling since the election because I am finding it hard to follow what I believe is the highest commandment communicated to me, and that is to love better and more completely. Love, a word much bandied about in our society, is difficult at best, and downright impossible at worst, and I’ve been on a long journey to learn how to implement it into my life. Proposition 8 took the wind out of my sails, and I found myself so angry, hurt and scared that I wondered if I had permanently lost the ability to love and trust. Fortunately, I’m not easily broken, and I’m slowly regaining those abilities.
I’ve spent the past twenty years keeping my mouth shut out of “respect” for people who believed that I’m a sinner because of the gender that I’m attracted to. Those days are over. My fondest hope is that I can be respectful about it, but the purpose of this e-mail is to at least give you the opportunity to understand what the outcome of the passage of Proposition 8 did to me and to people like me.
Today, we swore in a new president of the United States, and I found myself praying for the first time in a long time. My prayers, 90% of the time, are simply “thank you for the abundance in my life” and “please help me to be a more loving, kinder and gentler man.” Let’s just say that if I had a dollar for every time I’ve prayed those prayers, I could probably own my own state. Today, those prayers included a hope for our world. I pray that Mr. Obama can help lead us to a more just and understanding society. One in which I don’t have to feel like people like me are the last acceptable repository of hatred and violence.
Be well, and I’ll see you soon.
Travis
Aunt ______,
Thank you for the message that you left on my cell phone voice mail the other day.
I haven’t responded because I haven’t quite been sure how to respond, and needed to put some thought into an appropriate and honest answer.
The question was am I still mad at you after our e-mail exchange about the forwarding of conservative political e-mails to me during the election, which I had asked you not to do. The short answer is that I’m not still particularly mad at you.
The longer answer, and the answer that I have been struggling to put into words, is that I am indeed angry. I have been angry, incredibly hurt and grief-stricken ever since the election and the passage of Proposition 8, which took away, however short-lived, the right for me to get married to a person of my choice legally (not religiously) in California. I’ve been angry at the millions of people who voted for the Proposition. I’ve been especially angry with the religious and civil “leaders” who have led their flocks on this issue with outright lies. I’ve been angry at the religious leaders who continually belittle people like me, compare us to criminals, pedophiles and other things even more horrible. I’ve been hurt by the hatred thinly veiled by “we love you” directed towards me and people like me. I’m continuously frightened by the increasing amount of people who think that it’s okay to abuse me and those like me with hateful words, fists, bats and guns. I’m increasingly angry at religious folk who continuously beat me over the metaphorical head with their own interpretations of sacred writings. I’m also in awe how the legal protection and recognition of a partnership between two mutually consenting adults can compare to the issues such as poverty, disease, homelessness, and violence which are rampant in our world, and which are willfully ignored by the self-professed righteous and pious. I’m angry at the people that I know personally, who I have had personal relationships with, who know me, and my story, who publicly and loudly voted to strip me of a fundamental equal right. Lastly, I wonder how many precious lives would have been saved from suicide and disease if gay relationships had been recognized and supported.
I’ve been struggling since the election because I am finding it hard to follow what I believe is the highest commandment communicated to me, and that is to love better and more completely. Love, a word much bandied about in our society, is difficult at best, and downright impossible at worst, and I’ve been on a long journey to learn how to implement it into my life. Proposition 8 took the wind out of my sails, and I found myself so angry, hurt and scared that I wondered if I had permanently lost the ability to love and trust. Fortunately, I’m not easily broken, and I’m slowly regaining those abilities.
I’ve spent the past twenty years keeping my mouth shut out of “respect” for people who believed that I’m a sinner because of the gender that I’m attracted to. Those days are over. My fondest hope is that I can be respectful about it, but the purpose of this e-mail is to at least give you the opportunity to understand what the outcome of the passage of Proposition 8 did to me and to people like me.
Today, we swore in a new president of the United States, and I found myself praying for the first time in a long time. My prayers, 90% of the time, are simply “thank you for the abundance in my life” and “please help me to be a more loving, kinder and gentler man.” Let’s just say that if I had a dollar for every time I’ve prayed those prayers, I could probably own my own state. Today, those prayers included a hope for our world. I pray that Mr. Obama can help lead us to a more just and understanding society. One in which I don’t have to feel like people like me are the last acceptable repository of hatred and violence.
Be well, and I’ll see you soon.
Travis
