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Now granted, this little girl has been through a lot this year. Getting fired, making speeches, coining the phrase “Opposite Marriage”, and now…well, there’s the little matter of a nasty ole masturbation video an ex boyfriend sold to TMZ.
It’s not the greatest year to be Carrie.
And to be perfectly honest, I think there’s some unnecessary nastiness said about her. Although I agree she’s homophobic, I also still maintain she’s not reacting to what’s really in her heart. It seems like someone else’s text. But whatever the reason, she is indeed working from a place of hatred and anger. If you look closely you can actually see it in her eyes. Where she touts love and joy and God, just look at her very closely. There’s something there that’s almost frightening.
However, she doesn’t deserve to be called names. I thought Perez Hilton’s rant about her was stupid and stereotypically Queeny. I have no respect for that man. Whether we like it or not, the woman’s entitled to believe whatever she wants to, and is allowed to express herself without being called “Bitch” and “Whore”. That guy just set back gay rights about 50 years.
Now that I sound middle of the road and without cruel intent, please watch the above video. It has everything. Including the moment when Prejean’s eyes turn dark and filled with disdain. I don’t like the woman and I have no respect for anyone who runs a career based on prejudice, but I’m not going to join the ranks of name calling.
I will however, relish in her awkwardness and delicious ignorance. And I also have to add her recent appearances on both Larry King and The View just multiply her growing anger and obvious lack of education. It’s fairly well known that most homophobic people are under educated (intolerance stems from lack of knowledge) but Prejean’s headed from something else here. There’s something freakishly big around her corner. And selfishly, I want to be there for every single step. When people claim self righteousness, there's always a long, long way to fall.
I feel as if we've been down this road before.
...and soon enough, everyone turns into a punchline.
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Title: TKO
Author:![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: Overall R, This part PG-13
Word Count: 6500+/-
Summary Jensen is an ex-con with a clean slate. Jared owns an MMA gym. They like each other, a lot.
A/N: This fic is complete in eight parts. I will post on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Thanks to: passing_through for the beta work. Even when you didn’t get it, you were there for the story. Thank you darlin’
Graphics by: raeschae Who brought these boys to life and made the whole thing awesome because her graphics rock
( Jensen didn’t really stop to think about it. He moved fast, checked the cook into the counter, grabbed his wrist, pressed hard until he dropped the knife and then twisted his arm behind his back. )
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...because it saved my dad's.
I forget sometimes that my dad actually 'served' in the military, during the 'forgotten' Korean War. It's when I sit at the keyboard, and take a typing test, or someone comments on my fast typing skills, that I remember.
When I was in high school, we were deciding on what extra classes I could take. He suggested typing; I thought he was crazy. What could be more boring than a typing class. He repeated many times over that it was a very practical skill to have, and that it would come in useful in the future. I didn't see it. I was going to be rich and famous, how would typing possibly come in handy for me?
I had to refrain from laughing when he said to me with a straight face, "Just so you know, typing saved my life." What?! Then he told me the story.
When he was drafted, his troop got sent to Japan (where he remembers vividly the word 背です - tall - as he heard it over and over and over), before heading onward to Korea.
A few days prior to them shipping out, a high ranking officer was making the rounds, and inspected his troop. When they were all lined up in front of him, he asked, "Who here can type?"
My dad was the only one who raised his hand. The officer pulled him out, and brought him to work in his office, which handled all legal matters of the local military troops. The rest of his troop went off to Korea, and he never saw or heard from any of them again.
After his service term was up, the head officer approached my dad and said, "Promise me, if you're not going to re-enlist, when you get back home, you'll go to law school."
And that's what my dad did. He became one of the 'good' lawyers, serving as County Counsel for 35 years. I never understood about lawyer jokes until I was on jury duty, as I didn't know why anyone would resent what my dad did.
Quite a few years ago, we went to Washington D.C., and as everyone does when visiting, strolled around the mall to see the monuments. Jefferson on one end, Lincoln on the other, and a very long line to pass in front of the Vietnam Memorial. All the monuments have veterans standing by, volunteering information about the mall and each monument. It was only by double-checking our map, and asking a veteran, about a Korean War Memorial, we were told there was one on the other side. We walked over, and saw very few people by it. It's a long wall, similar to the Vietnam Memorial, but instead of names, there are photographs from the archives, of the real people who served, etched into the marble.
In front of that wall, there are over-life sized sculptures of soldiers, with helmets and ponchos, rifles and guns drawn, marching through the rice fields.
It took my breath away.
As my dad perused the wall, I stared at his face.
A volunteer veteran walked up to him and said, "Did you serve?"
My dad could not vocalize his answer, but nodded his head.
The veteran put his hand on my dad's back.
He then told us "Last week there was a family here, and the father was looking at these photographs, and found one of his old buddies on here."
I took the typing class.
 Current Mood:  contemplative |
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Title: TKO
Author:Vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: Overall R, This part PG-13
Word Count: 6500+/-
Summary Jensen is an ex-con with a clean slate. Jared owns an MMA gym. They like each other, a lot.
A/N: General Warning, sad and angsty in places, D/s themes but by no means a porn fic.
This fic is complete in eight parts. I will post on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Thanks to: passing_through for the beta work. Even when you didn’t get it, you were there for the story. Thank you darlin’
Graphics by: raeschae
( Jensen nodded, not saying anything else. The fluorescent light in the kitchen hummed. He moved over to the bed, there was a blanket but no sheets and a scratchy material covering the pillows. He locked the door behind his landlord, )
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I make my living both as an actor and a teacher, reading human behavior. I’ve been doing this since I was about 7 and it never gets old. People fascinate me. The tactics we use in order to get what we want, the lies we tell in order to avoid what we want, or the love we give freely in order to fulfill what we want. I’ve taken many classes and taught many classes, but really, the best classroom in the world, IS the world. It’s a living, breathing testament to who we are, where we come from, and where we’re headed.
I love people.
I always put my students in a neutral Shape. Meaning, when we’re doing something, exploring something, on to something and someone’s standing around with their arms folded or behind their back like a lieutenant, my bullshit meter goes off. I go up to them, tell them to breathe a little, and release their arms so they’re simply standing there. As simple as this sounds, it’s really all the more frightening.
Try it sometime when you’re in a group of new people. Changing your Shape can be mind blowing. You’ll be shocked how naked you feel.
In this video, watch these two speakers. Look at their Shapes. As they stand before a huge crowd, and weep, or Gesture, or talk about the Glory of God and how they’ve overcome their Homosexual Ways, their Shape betrays them. There’s no ease to their souls. There’s a raw hurt and a bountiful pain going through them that manifests itself and says to me:
“Help.”
It’s that simple.
To stand and talk about the Truth without their arms across them, protecting them, holding them, binding them, is too much. They simply can’t do it.
I sobbed when I first saw this. And I sobbed not because they found their true calling and were filled with the Holy spirit, but because they’re filled with fear and really only fooling themselves. And I doubt with all that God has in store for them, that this is truly the answer they’re searching for. I’m praying for them. In a neutral Shape. |
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I made some changes to Chapter 20 after posting it, and have edited the post to include the changes. Thanks to a wonderful feedback comment on Bloodclaim I realized I'd set myself up for a glaring plot hole.
The last paragraph of Chapter 20 is now 5 paragraphs, and slightly alters how the chapter ends. If you read the chapter before the change, you should read the last five paragraphs for the new material. Everything else about the chapter is the same.
As always, thanks for the feedback, not only is it nice, but sometimes it helps head off problems.
- Caroline |
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Nothing the Same, Book 4
Chapter: 20/?
Feedback & concrit: yes, please
Disclaimer: don't own them, never will, just having fun.
Previous parts here
( Chapter 20 )
Current Mood:  busy |
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Title: Gives you Wings
Author:Vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2000 +/-
Summary really, you need one for NC-17?
A/N: This was a rewquest by and a hank you to my beta passing_through
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Title: Gives You Wings
Author:Vamphile
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2000+/-
Summary Sometimes, Jensen wants Jared.
A/N: Do I have to warn you that there are hot naked guys having sex? Do I have to tell you this is a gift to my Beta? Um, there are, it is. Thanks to: passing_through ( Gives You Wings )
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Off to the Big Apple for a couple of days to see if my dreams can come true.
If not....I'll at least get to see my pal Sheila and get a hot dog with real pickles. |
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I noticed that I had quite a lot of QAF fic related to the holiday season, which I'm defining as Halloween through New Year's Day. I decided to create a master list to link to from my fic index page. Nothing new here. :)
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This was my entry to the "Weather/Vacation" challenge at qaf_challenges . It was beta'd by testdog65 , and it's about a very, very hot post-513 day in Pittsburgh.
If pool!sex offends you, definitely don't read it. And if you like it, I'd love to hear from you! I've had a long horrible year and getting back to writing has been a wonderful feeling... knowing you're reading makes it better!
( Heat Wave, by Xie... )
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No, seriously, I am not recovered enough to deal with wank. So I'm begging of you do not commit the wankage in my journal plz plz plz kthnx.
I've noticed that comments to my recent fics have been fewer than normal. I brought this up a while ago, like maybe a year ago, and some of you conspiracy theorists out there suggested there was a deep dark plot to prevent people from commenting on my fic because I post it at IJ or maybe just because of me personally. I didn't believe that then and I don't believe it now; I can't imagine more than a tiny handful of people would allow themselves to be dictated to in that way. So please, let us not to go there, and again with the plz plz plz kthnx. :)
I know sometimes I'm a pain in the ass about not wanting to get into discussions about my fic process, because it makes it harder for me to write, and I don't want it to be hard, I want it to be joyous and creative and fun. And I know some of you love the give and take with authors, and so maybe you just stopped commenting to me because of I don't do that.
Also, I know in the last year I haven't been as good about replying to comments as I used to be. I'm not just saying this because it's a convenient excuse, but because it's the truth: I didn't really let myself realize how much of my life was being eaten up by taking care of my mother after she became ill, and I just gradually cut a lot of things out of my life without really acknowledging it to myself. Good fandom etiquette was one of the first things to go, and I just couldn't put all the pieces of what was happening in my life together and so, I never quite realized that. And I'm sorry.
Also, while I know a lot of you have moved on from QAF and fandom is smaller and the show is four years in the past etc etc etc, I still have tons of people on LJ friending me every day, presumably to read my fic, since that's all I really post here. And every time I post a fic, I get at least a thousand above-baseline hits to my journal. Sometimes it's many more than that -- my series gets between 3-4000 new hits when I update it. And yet... fewer than a hundred comments.
I know there is no disclaimer that I can put on this that won't make it seem like I'm begging for comments, and I just hate authors who beg for comments. But when I started writing again after my mother died, it meant a lot to me to find that creativity was still there, and that I still wanted to do it, and it sort of makes me sad to not hear from my readers as much as I used to when I post fic.
If you don't read my fic or don't like my fic, then that's fine... but if you do read it and like it, if you're one of those thousand people who clicked over without saying anything, please know that even though I don't usually ask for comments in my author's notes, I do love getting them, and I promise not to be quite as much of a pain in the ass as I may have been before, and I will respond.
No, honestly. I swear it!
And if you're a new fan and weren't sure of "commenting ettiquette" and don't generally comment on fics you like, whether mine or anyone else's, whether in QAF fandom or any other, please know that most authors love comments, even if it's just a fast "Really liked this, thanks!" The pay scale for writing fan fic is very low... most fic writers get paid in love. It's always good to give them some. :)
Love,
Xie |
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I am working on the next couple of chapters of "Directions," and I was wondering if some lovely British fangirl could tell me -- is there a typical time that a university would be closed for the Christmas season? Or would it vary from school to school?
Thanks so much! |
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