Travis Funny

Wherein Dan Savage Helps Me to Prove I am indeed an asshole ...

Good afternoon, folks,

Well, it looks like I’ve just lost a friend that I’ve had since 1992. Thank you, Dan.

This morning, I got an IM from D (not Dan), telling me that Dan Savage had said that a woman should lose her kids because she was fat. I immediately ask what the context of that statement is.

Here is the article.

Huge argument ensues. My point being that 1) nobody is going to take her kids away from her and 2) anybody deliberately trying to get to a weight of 1,200 pounds to get into a frickin’ record book is not only putting herself but possibly her child in danger. Her point being that nobody should make the point that somebody should take somebody’s children away just because she’s fat.

Honesty forces me to admit that the very idea of somebody deliberately becoming 1200 pounds, spending $3,000 on food a MONTH, and paying for it by running a website where people pay to watch her eat fast food is disgusting. I’m sorry, it just is to me. I’ve struggled with my weight and watched so many friends of mine struggle with their weight, and the attendant depression and self-hatred for too many years to think that can be emotionally healthy. Let's put aside the physical health issues.

I don’t think I have a problem with fat people. I’ve been fat, and, in many circles, especially in the gay world, I AM STILL fat, and will always be fat. That’s fine. I’ve had many, many friends that are fat, and are happy to be that way, and I love and adore them, and, beyond all that, I ardently support their right to be fat and happy, and would be the first one to take somebody to task for saying an unkind word about them, then and now.

So, after hours of stewing, I thought and thought, and came to the conclusion that this woman has the right to be 1,200 lbs., even though at that weight, she won’t be able to function well, if at all, and that I think her child will be adversely affected by it, and it could be dangerous for both of them.

But I’m still pissed off. Because, yet again, I’m drawn into an argument that I can’t win, have no business making, and is none of my frickin’ business. I don’t LIKE looking like an asshole. I don’t LIKE having my prejudices shoved down my goddamned throat, preferring to deal with them in my own pace and in my own time, and without the seemingly gleeful enjoyment of the person pushing the fucking buttons, friend or not.

So, I sent her an IM, saying, “Yes, you’re right, Dan Savage shouldn’t have said that her children should be taken away from her,” and then I signed off because I didn’t want to continue the conversation. Two seconds later my telephone at work rings, and she is wondering what’s wrong. I tell her that I am indeed pissed off, as I got forced into making an argument I didn’t want to have to make. She interrupted me and said, “I think we’re going to have to end this friendship ...” So, I immediately said, “fine, goodbye” and hung up the telephone.

Which is EXACTLY why I fucking HATE talking about politics and religion and social hot topics like this. Because it immediately becomes personal, and my head turns spins around, and I forget that my job in all of this is to listen, smile, nod, and say, “of course, you’re right.” And then yet another friend, acquaintance or family member has made their way out the revolving doors that represent the relationships in my life, and I’m left struggling with my own fucking emotional fallout.

All I can say is, “thank you, Dan Savage” and goodbye to D. May you find your life blessed and happy.

Travis Funny

Where Did That Little Dog Go?

Hiya, folks,

Some of you might remember that I played Charlie Brown in a production of Snoopy, the Musical! last summer.

Here's a clip of the cast doing the "Easter Beagle" vignette, which goes into my solo, "Where Did That Little Dog Go?"


Travis Funny

My very own Cabaret! February 2!

Hiya, gentle readers,

I'm so proud to announce that on February 2, 2010, I will be performing my very own cabaret, called "Headin' to the Chapel, the Middle of the Journey!" in Hollywood.

It's going to be me, a piano played by a wonderfully talented woman by the name of Debbie Lawrence, and the other singers who are joining me onstage: Leslie Duke, Jake Wesley Stewart and Cloie Taylor. I'm so honored to have such talented and amazing friends with me onstage.

It will be the celebration of my 42nd birthday and a bit of a musical journey, loosely based on me and my life as a gay man. Not to mention some of my favorite music to sing.

Here's the info:

Date: February 2, 2010

Time: 7:00 doors open for dinner and drinks. 8:00 is when the show starts. Get there early to get a good seat and a bite to eat.

Place: The M Bar and Restaurant

Address: 1253 Vine Street, Los Angeles, CA 90038 (on the corner of Vine and Fountain in Hollywood).

Reservations: (323) 856-0036 (please remember to make reservations so the restaurant knows how many are coming).

Cost: $10 cover charge, and a $10 food minimum (not a drink minimum).

I'd love to see you all there. :)

Travis Funny

Bah humbug.

Morning, gentle readers,

I’m just not in the Christmas spirit this year.

A Christmas Carol with Jim Carrey, directed by Robert Zemeckis almost put me in the mood, but didn’t quite do it. It’s a wonderful movie, by the way, with beautiful animation, stunning acting, and is a really wonderful adaptation of the classic Christmas story.

I’ve been trying to figure out what’s keeping me from it. Although I don’t identify as Christian, and haven’t for many years; the celebrations at this time of year, are much older than Christianity, and are not just limited to that faith. Normally, I enjoy a holiday camaraderie with my fellow man, and enjoy the hope that along with the rebirth of the sun’s cycle around the earth, this will be the year when we will all learn how to treat our fellows a bit better, and become a kinder, gentler and more giving people.

This year, I haven’t been able to access any of that. The most accurate description of what’s in my heart seems to be when I say “my favorite part of Christmas is when it’s over.”

The season’s hope has been buried under the morass of fear and anger lodged in my heart. It’s about to become punishable by death to be gay in Uganda, and a good portion of people who call themselves religious people, even here in this country, shrug their shoulders, point at Leviticus as justification, and go on about their day. In state after state, people are voting to bar gay folks from getting legally married to a partner of their choice to protect their legal and familial rights. Because heaven forbid, two people of the same gender who love each other, and want to protect each other from the world should get a bit of help from society. It’s bad enough that supposedly devout, pious religious leaders can stand in their pulpits and call us the most vile of names in the name of God, but continually stripping away and denying of human rights seems to be the cause du jour.

Somebody who is virulently anti-gay, described homosexuality as “one man violently cramming his penis into another man’s lower intestine and calling it ‘love.’” See Not to mention the liberal use of standard fare like “sinful” “evil” “aberrant,” etc. Upon hearing this, I thought to myself, “Really? That’s all that love is about in their world? The physical act of fucking? That’s it? And it’s violent?” Maybe I'm not the only one who needs therapy.

More and more, the religion of the Christ seems to be more about hatred towards anybody that’s even a bit different, and the guilt-free beating of other people (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually) than anything else. Scarily enough, the more they hate and try to hurt me and those like me, the more I feel backed into a corner, trapped by an angry mob, and the more I contemplate giving back in kind. The more I hate. The more I rail against divinity, in any form. I find myself running just as fast as I can from any type of religious teachings these days. My gut reaction when somebody says anything even remotely religious is “fuck you and the god you rode in on.”

I don’t want to be that guy. The red eyed, angry, bitchy, temperamental and increasingly hateful man who takes offense at everything. It’s not good for my soul. I’m trying to learn how to love better, not hate more. I’m trying to be more accepting for the foibles and the glorious humanity of those around me, and to patiently work to make the world a better place.

“Trying” is the operative phrase in the above paragraph. My confession to you today is that I’m not doing particularly well at any of those things right now.

For those of you who say that the Ugandan legislation is in Africa, and that it could never happen here in the United States, I’ll remind you that the German folks said the same thing in the earlier part of the last century.

I wonder why I’m frightened.

Having said all of that, I'm trying to find a LGBT organization to do some volunteer work for on Christmas Day. Might as well turn my fear to something positive.

Travis Funny

Citibank sucks

Good evening, folks,

I just got home and checked the mail and found out that Citibank is raising the interest rate on my credit card (which I have NEVER been late on, and as a matter of fact have a balance about half of my limit) from a fixed rate of 9.99% to an APR of 29.99%. That's an increase of 20%. TWENTY PERCENT. Their explanation is that to continue to prove customers with access to credit, they have to adjust their pricing. 20% is, in my opinion, usurious charges. I closed my account to lock in the current rate that I have so I can pay it off. Oh, get this, they have a program that let's me get a credit for 10% of that interest if I make my minimum payment on time. Even taking into account that lovely little program, it's still a raise of TEN PERCENT.

I was told to have a happy holiday season.

Citibank can kiss my ass this holiday season.

Travis Funny

Maine ...

Hiya, folks,

Well, Maine voters decided that gays shouldn't get civilly-married yesterday.

I don't know what horrifies me more ... that we lost another state, or that I basically just shrugged, and figured that's the way it's going to be all over the U.S. so I might as well get used to it. linked to some craiglist discussions in Maine the day before the election, and I was a little floored at the vitriol spewed forth by the yes on Question 1 people. Apparently, all gays are "radical homosexual activists" and "selfish" and want everything handed to us. And that's the nice stuff. The not nice stuff isn't fit to re-print.

I was just reminded how much we are hated. And that makes me sad and pessimistic.


Travis Funny


Afternoon, folks,

I called my health insurance company this morning to see if I could expedite the processing of a claim from my doctor because the insurance company has a hard time understanding that just because I upgraded my plan, that doesn't mean I wasn't insured by them last year; therefore, the "are you sure this wasn't a pre-existing condition" question is invalid.

Anywhosy. Every time I call them, they ask me about 10 questions. What's your name, your birthday, your address, are you insured with another company, etc.

This time they asked me if I wanted to do a language preference survey, which would apparently only take 4-5 seconds. Sure, why not. After all, I don't want to have to try to translate their already incromprehensible menu options from Swedish to English if they don't get my preference correct. The first question was, "what language do you prefer." "English," I replied helpfully. The second question was "what ethnicity are you?" "American." "I'm sorry, sir, that's not an option. White, caucasion, etc." I then told him, rather tartly, "I'm not answering that question because it really is none of you or your company's business." He said that he'd make a note of it on their files so they didn't ask me again.

My question is what the hell would they need to ask that question for? Is my answer going to change my coverage, or how they treat my claims or how they talk to me on the phone?

What do you all think? Was I out of line in refusing to answer?

Travis Funny

In Memoriam

Good afternoon, gentle readers,

As most of you know, Xie's mom, Kathleen, passed away. I find myself very sad about it. For Xie, because I know how much she loved her mother and how much she will miss her. But I'm also sad for myself.

I've known Xie's mom for as long as I've known Xie. 12 years now? Somewhere around there. Almost every time I'd see Xie, I'd see Kathleen. She was a lovely lady with a sparkle in her eye and a quick laugh that I've always associated with the Irish. She always had a smile and a great big hug for me. She's one of those people who seems to listen when in a conversation, and to care about what one says. She loved her dogs as much as Xie did, and I was privileged to be able to go on many walks with her and the dogs on the occasions I got to visit.

I must admit that I was always a bit jealous of the caring relationship Xie and Kathleen had. Now, I'm no fool, and I know they had their squabbles and differences on occasion. But they always seemed to be there for each other, and able to count on each other. A real blessing.

I once remarked to Xie that Kathleen was the only straight person I'd consider taking on a gay cruise because I was absolutely sure we'd have a BLAST!!

After hearing that she was sick and very close to the end, I had a dream, as I often do, given the medications I have to take. I woke in tears, and thinking that in my heart of hearts, I thought of her as "San Franciscan Royalty." Now, that didn't make sense at the time, but as I thought about it, it does. She and her family are native San Franciscans, and although I don't live in that end of the state, I always sort of look up to them as my link to San Francisco's (and therefor California's) old-guard. As far as the royalty part goes, one only needed to have spoken with Kathleen about her city to get how much a part of it she was, and how much a part of her it was.

Most of all, her passing, while sad, has given me yet another occasion to remember how much I truly love her daughter, and how grateful I am that she is my friend. One of my best friends. A special woman and friend that I look up to and honor every day. I hope she knows that.

Rest in Peace, Kathleen, you will be missed more than you know, and thank you for being a part of my life.